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that might be the best news story ever reported 
full article:
Man charged after alleged naked rampage inside North Fort Myers home
A Venice man is facing several charges after allegedly going on a naked rampage inside a couple’s home in North Fort Myers Monday.
Gregory Matthew Bruni, 21, is facing charges of damage to property, burglary, battery and resisting an officer.
The victims told the Lee County Sheriff’s Office they were inside around 6:50 p.m. when they heard noises on the roof.
They went outside and saw a naked man, later identified as Bruni, on the roof, according to a Lee County Sheriff’s Office report.
They said the man then jumped off the roof and onto one of the victims, knocking him down.
The man then ran into their home and pulled a 72-inch television off a living room wall, breaking it.
The victim told investigators he yelled for his wife to get a gun as Bruni continued to thrash around the house, knocking over a wet/dry vacuum and spilling its contents on the floor.
The wife fired three shots from a .38 caliber revolver at Bruni but missed and hit a wall.
Bruni then fell to the ground and began masturbating in the living room before he ran into the victims’ son’s bedroom and began rubbing his face with clothing, according to the report.
The male victim retrieved his shotgun from the master bedroom, but never fired at Bruni.
Deputies arrived on the scene and tried to detain Bruni, who started flailing around on the ground and speaking but not making sense.
Deputies said Bruni sucked up the water that had spilled from the vacuum and spit it out.
They said he tried to flee several times and had to be Tased as he was taken into custody.
Deputies later discovered Bruni defecated near the front door and in a hallway inside the residence.
He was transported to Lee Memorial Hospital for observation. Doctors advised deputies they couldn’t identify “what Bruni was on” and were conducting further tests, according to the report.
full article:
Man charged after alleged naked rampage inside North Fort Myers home
A Venice man is facing several charges after allegedly going on a naked rampage inside a couple’s home in North Fort Myers Monday.
Gregory Matthew Bruni, 21, is facing charges of damage to property, burglary, battery and resisting an officer.
The victims told the Lee County Sheriff’s Office they were inside around 6:50 p.m. when they heard noises on the roof.
They went outside and saw a naked man, later identified as Bruni, on the roof, according to a Lee County Sheriff’s Office report.
They said the man then jumped off the roof and onto one of the victims, knocking him down.
The man then ran into their home and pulled a 72-inch television off a living room wall, breaking it.
The victim told investigators he yelled for his wife to get a gun as Bruni continued to thrash around the house, knocking over a wet/dry vacuum and spilling its contents on the floor.
The wife fired three shots from a .38 caliber revolver at Bruni but missed and hit a wall.
Bruni then fell to the ground and began masturbating in the living room before he ran into the victims’ son’s bedroom and began rubbing his face with clothing, according to the report.
The male victim retrieved his shotgun from the master bedroom, but never fired at Bruni.
Deputies arrived on the scene and tried to detain Bruni, who started flailing around on the ground and speaking but not making sense.
Deputies said Bruni sucked up the water that had spilled from the vacuum and spit it out.
They said he tried to flee several times and had to be Tased as he was taken into custody.
Deputies later discovered Bruni defecated near the front door and in a hallway inside the residence.
He was transported to Lee Memorial Hospital for observation. Doctors advised deputies they couldn’t identify “what Bruni was on” and were conducting further tests, according to the report.
Chob
hopefully that wasn't Nard's real phone number
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